Etiquette 101: How to be a better diner

Because there’s no customer equivalent of TripAdvisor, Leanne Clancey turns the tables to let hospitality pros dish the dirt on bad diners, and they have three things to say: communicate; be kind; and for crying out loud, put your phone away.

Since the media (and ergo, the world) became obsessed with food, it seems like every second grandma and school kid is laminating chocolate and sous vide-ing their venison. But while our levels of gastronomic sophistication might be at an all-time high, elsewhere our food experience is lagging. When it comes to being a good diner, it seems we’ve forgotten our manners.

Thanks to review sites like TripAdvisor, if you’ve got a gripe about your tripe, it’s game on. Restaurant bashing has become a very public sport, but you’ll seldom hear the other side of the story – that is the tales of inconsiderate, rude and downright reprehensible behaviour that diners routinely dole out to restaurant staff.

Melbourne-based food critic and former waitress, Larissa Dubecki chronicled the horrors of poor customer behaviour in her 2015 memoir, Prick with a Fork. In it she says: “There seems to be this psychological thing that once you are at a restaurant for a few hours, you have the right to this slave for the night and that slave doesn’t deserve basic human civility." It’s a shameful reality that most hospo pros will back up.

To get a sense of what things are like, I recently quizzed some industry friends about their pet peeves. I heard sordid stories of lies, sexism, stolen tips, pinched bums, and patrons sneaking off to get ‘intimate’ in the washroom between courses, but the core theme that united all of the feedback was a simple wish to be treated with respect. My restaurateur friend, Bernard Glaude from Daylesford’s Belvedere Social agrees, “Customers sometimes forget that their server is also a human being. Being rude, disrespectful or otherwise degrading just isn’t acceptable behaviour in the 21st century."

Other biggies? Stacking plates or handing plates to servers while they are clearing the table (waiters have a system for this, please let them do their job). Paper napkins stuffed in glassware (just gross). Fussy eaters and allergy fakers. Customers who voice complaints online when the issue could have been easily resolved with staff in the restaurant.

I also heard a lot of complaints about something that wasn’t an issue back in the ’90s: smartphones. Today’s wait staff have to deal with loud talkers, loud ring tones and loud videos, the latter of which – according to Glaude – is the biggest vibe killer. “Playing videos in a dining room is just not acceptable," he says. “If you do it here, you will be told to turn it off like a naughty school child."

There’s also a loss of presence that comes with being a phone-addict: Instagrammers, Tinder swipers, alpha males doing deals, silent couples scrolling their way through multi-course degustations.

Then there’s the straight-up abuse that restaurant staff endure on the job. Rudeness, arrogance, aggression, racism and sexism are all part of the territory, and yet a waiter’s role is to grin, bear it and always, always apologise.

For anyone working in a service-led workplace the old “the customer is always right" mantra is drilled in from the get-go – no matter how bad, wrong or indefensibly ill-mannered said customer might be, but if there’s one industry in which the adage really stretches the friendship, it’s hospitality.

Trust me, there’s a reason your waiter wants your tips – after cleaning up the messes of feral kids, being hit on by lecherous drunks, and obeying the endless dietary whims of weight-conscious, joyless gluten frauds all week, there’s a very good chance they’ve earnt them.

One of the industry’s other big gripes is the rising trend of the no-show: people who book a table and don’t turn up, without bothering to let the venue know. As a diner, it may not feel like a big deal to change your mind and blow off a restaurant booking at the last minute without calling, but according to restaurant booking site Dimmi, it’s an epidemic that is said to be costing the industry an estimated $75 million per year.

To help combat the issue, last year Dimmi decided to take a firm stand by allowing restaurants to blacklist Dimmi users who fail to honour their reservation. In the last 12 months, Dimmi partner restaurants have blacklisted more than 38,000 diners, up from around 3000 the previous year. The company’s founder and CEO, Stevan Premutico, says the average diner doesn’t realise the consequences. “The majority of people don’t understand the impact that no-shows have on the restaurant industry. They think somebody else is going to make up that booking, but that’s typically not the case," he explains.

For small businesses already working on tiny margins, keeping tables full is crucial. The combination of low profit margins, high wage costs and high staff turnover make running a restaurant a precarious balancing act. That 30-second phone call can be the difference between a business wasting a table, losing revenue and sending staff home early or, alternatively, them re-booking it and staying afloat financially.

Sydney restaurateur, Erez Gordon says that another factor that is especially galling during a busy service is when a party shows up with fewer numbers than originally booked, without letting the restaurant know in advance. “If we know, we can sell the other two seats and rearrange the table plan to maximise our earning potential for that service," he explains. “It has a big impact." But like any well-trained hospo pro, Gordon has to grin and bear it. “In a saturated and highly competitive market, we simply smile and accept poor behaviour [otherwise] we risk disenfranchising potential future customers."

But despite all this, most hospitality professionals are in the industry because they get a kick out of showing diners a good time. “These stories of bad customer behaviour might sound really terrible, but thankfully they are rare," explains veteran Melbourne restaurateur and industry advocate, Matteo Pignatelli. “I truly love 98 per cent of my customers, and I’m extremely grateful because these people come to us rather than the thousands of other restaurants around town.

“The best customers understand how hard we work to make sure they’re happy and they let us do that for them. At the end of the day, what we want more than anything is to make customers happy and see them come back. It’s our job – it’s what we do."

Video credit: Tourism Australia

From coast to mountains, hiking in Gippsland offers a stunning array of landscapes, with trails that take you deep into the region’s heritage.

I step out onto the sand and it cries out underfoot. Kweek! I take another step and there’s another little yelp. Screet! Picking up the pace, the sounds follow me like my shadow, all the way down to the water. It’s obvious how this spot got its name – Squeaky Beach – from the rounded grains of quartz that make the distinctive sounds under pressure.

For many, Wilsons Promontory National Park is the gateway to Gippsland , and the best way to explore it is by walking its network of hiking trails, from coastal gems such as Squeaky Beach through to the bushland, among the wildlife. But it’s still just a taste of what you’ll find on foot in the region.

Venture a bit further into Gippsland and you’ll discover the lakes, the rainforest, and the alpine peaks, each changing with the season and offering summer strolls or winter walks. Just like that squeaky sand, each step along these trails has something to tell you: perhaps a story about an ancient spirit or a pioneering search for fortune.

The best coastal hikes in Gippsland

sunset at Wilsons Promontory National Park — Wilsons Promontory National Park is a sprawling wilderness with many coastal bushland trails. (Image: Mark Watson)

Wilsons Promontory National Park (or ‘The Prom’, as you’ll end up calling it) is an easy three-hour drive from Melbourne, but you might ditch the car when you arrive, with much of the park’s 50,000 hectares accessible only by foot. From the inky water of Tidal River (dyed dark purple by abundant tea trees), I like the easy walks along the coast, among lichen-laden granite boulders, to golden beaches and bays.

a couple on Mount Oberon — Panoramic views from the summit of Mount Oberon. (Image: Everyday Nicky)

The trail to the panoramic views at the summit of Mount Oberon is a bit harder, up steep timber and granite steps, but it’s a popular 6.8-kilometre return. The more remote hikes are found through the open banksia and stringybark woodland of the park’s north, or along the multi-day Southern Circuit , which ranges from about 35 to 52 kilometres, with sunrises and sunsets, kangaroos and cockatoos, and maybe even whales.

a golden sand beach at Wilsons Promontory National Park — Walk ‘The Prom’s’ golden sand beaches. (Image: Tourism Australia/Time Out Australia)

You might also see whales on the George Bass Coastal Walk , even closer to Melbourne on the western edge of Gippsland. This dramatic seven-kilometre trail along the clifftops takes in sweeping views of the wild ocean, occasionally dipping down from grassy green hills to coastal gullies and a secluded beach. It also now links into the Bass Coast Rail Trail for an extra 14 kilometres.

Over at the eastern edge of Gippsland, in Croajingolong National Park, you can wander along the lakeshores beneath koalas and around goannas (I keep my distance since one chased me here!). For those who are even more adventurous, the park is also the starting point for the 100-kilometre Wilderness Coast Walk , usually done over seven days.

the Croajingolong National Park, Gippsland — Wander along the lakeshores in Croajingolong National Park. (Image: Tourism Australia)

The best bush hikes in Gippsland

the Baw Baw National Park — The alpine heath of Baw Baw National Park. (Image: Everyday Nicky)

Deep in the Long Tunnel Extended Gold Mine at Walhalla, mining guide Richard tells me how this small town in the mountains east of Melbourne boomed when prospectors found gold here in 1862. These days, you’ll find most of the town’s treasure – its heritage – above ground, with the Walhalla Tramline Walk a wonderful way to explore it.

Just seven kilometres long, the walk takes you through decades of Gold Rush history, following the original rail trail from lush bushland to the mining sites, and through the charming village of just 20 residents with its wooden cottages and old shopfronts adorned with turn-of-the-century advertising posters. Blazing a trail where trailblazers once opened up the region, this is also the starting point for the 650-kilometre Australian Alps Walking Track.

Nearby, Baw Baw National Park has walks through gnarled snow gums and alpine heaths that show off the colourful wildflowers in summer and the pristine carpet of white in winter. Several trails are perfect for snowshoes, including a 45-minute route from St Gwinear up to vast views across the Latrobe Valley.

Further up into the mountains, the Toorongo and Amphitheatre Falls Loop Walk is an easy 2.2-kilometre path that serenades you with the sound of flowing water as you pass mossy rocks and tree ferns en route to two sets of waterfalls cascading over boulders in the remote wilderness.

The best cultural hikes in Gippsland

the Mitchell River National Park, Gippsland — Hike the Mitchell River National Park. (Image: Parks Victoria/Grace Lewis)

Across a pool in a natural sandstone amphitheatre, deep within a cave behind a waterfall, it’s said the Nargun has its lair. A fierce creature, half human and half stone, that abducts children and can’t be harmed by boomerangs or spears, the story of the Nargun has been told around the campfires of the local Gunaikurnai people for generations.

As a culturally significant place for women, hikers are asked not to go into the Den of Nargun, but a 3.4-kilometre loop walk leads you through a rainforest gully to the entrance where you can feel the powerful atmosphere here in Mitchell River National Park , along Victoria’s largest remaining wild and free-flowing waterway.

the bee-eaters at Mitchell River National Park — Bee-eaters at Mitchell River National Park. (Image: Parks Victoria/Grace Lewis)

The Den of Nargun is part of the Bataluk Cultural Trail , a series of important traditional Gunaikurnai sites through central Gippsland. Another location is Victoria’s largest cave system, Buchan Caves Reserve, with trails to important archaeological sites of human artefacts up to 18,000 years old. The FJ Wilson Interpreted Walk includes the naturally sculpted white limestone steps of the 400-metre-long Federal Cave, while the Granite Pools Walk goes among tall timber and moss-covered gullies.

the ancient rainforest of Tarra-Bulga National Park — The ancient rainforest of Tarra-Bulga National Park. (Image: Josie Withers)

Also important to the Gunaikurnai people is Tarra-Bulga National Park , known for its ancient myrtle beeches and enormous mountain ash trees. Just 40 minutes return, the Tarra Valley Rainforest Walk offers a taste of this verdant landscape, while the Grand Strzelecki Track takes you deep into the lost world of forest giants on an epic 100-kilometre trail rich with tradition.

A traveller’s checklist

Staying there

the WildernessRetreats in The Prom — Wilderness Retreats in The Prom. (Image: Christian Pearson)

Wilderness Retreats in Wilsons Promontory offers glamping-style tents with luxurious queen beds. Star Hotel is a reconstruction of a Gold Rush-era hotel from 1863 in the heart of heritage Walhalla. Caves House is a historic three-bedroom house with views over the Buchan River.

Eating there

the Carrajung Estate, Gippsland — Enjoy a post-hike lunch at Carrajung Estate. (Image: Everyday Nicky)

Kilcunda General Store serves great coffee and meals of local produce at the George Bass Coastal Walk. Alpine Trout Farm is located near Toorongo Falls in Noojee. Fish for your own lunch and barbecue it with the provided cookware.

Carrajung Estate is a short drive from Tarra-Bulga National Park. The winery’s restaurant offers a seasonal menu of regional ingredients and you can stay at The Lodge.

a seafood feast at Carrajung Estate, Gippsland — The table is set for a seafood feast at the estate.

Video credit: Tourism Australia

Etiquette 101: How to be a better diner

Because there’s no customer equivalent of TripAdvisor, Leanne Clancey turns the tables to let hospitality pros dish the dirt on bad diners, and they have three things to say: communicate; be kind; and for crying out loud, put your phone away.

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