Review: QT Melbourne

A new boutique hotel in an old Melbourne cinema is full of surprises.

Forget cinematic excellence, the one thing I remember most about the old Greater Union cinema in Russell Street is the damn seats. With a low-slung design that finished midway up your back, they would have to go down as the most uncomfortable cinema seats I’ve ever had the misfortune of spending an hour and 25 in.

When the cinema closed in 2013, I was happy to see it go.

Today, the stark, modernist 1970s building that once housed these poorly designed pews is barely recognisable from its former self thanks to a super-glam overhaul by the QT hotel chain. And I’m happy to say, there’s not an uncomfortable piece of furniture to be found.

The details

Where: QT Melbourne: 133 Russell Street, Melbourne, Vic

What to expect

Since opening in September 2016, QT Melbourne has brought some much-needed personality to the city’s boutique hotel scene. Known for its quirkiness, QT Hotels seems befitting of a city like Sydney – where you’ll find the flagship – but I wasn’t convinced that its cheeky, OTT brashness would translate here in Melbourne.

accommodation Melbourne hoteThe gel-topped beds at QT Melbourne have a reputation that precedes them review — Public spaces create a sense of drama. QT Melbourne.

But when it comes to first impressions, QT Melbourne has a particularly strong game.

For a start, you can’t miss those shiny copper-capped entrance doors, even from half a block away. Then there’s the immaculate, designer-clad bell staff (or ‘Directors of Chaos’, as they’re known here).

On arrival, we’re greeted outside by two perfectly coiffed young women. Their flawless make-up and megawatt smiles set the scene for what is to be a suitably theatrical hotel experience.

Inside the lobby, the windows and ceilings soar and the staff look like extras from a Robert Palmer video. The moody-glam décor and sweeping, brass-lined staircase add to the mounting sense of drama. Check-in is seamless and the staff well drilled.

As we step into the low-lit lift en route to our room, we’re greeted by seductive coos from an anonymous woman speaking in French. Each lift plays a different voice-over in various languages.

QT quirky? You betcha.

While the building itself has been redesigned by Sydney-based architect Angelo Candalepas, the public spaces and 188 rooms have been conceived by interior designer Nic Graham and architect and designer Shelley Indyk respectively.

The room

The rooms themselves are well proportioned, with good natural light and wonderful views of the city’s rooftops and skyline. They exude a calm sophistication.

I’m told the gel-topped beds here have a reputation that precedes them, and after a night spent luxuriating, I’m soon calculating the financial practicalities of getting one myself.

Kitted out with black steel, slate tiling and a retractable rippled glass privacy screen, the adjoining bathroom is functional and discreet. The aromatic (Malin+Goetz) amenities are a nice touch.

The mini-bar is no afterthought (think high-end snacks, wacky gifts and craft spirits) and I’m always a fan of a portable Bose Bluetooth speaker in hotel rooms (it’s time for hoteliers everywhere to ditch dated plug-in speakers).

After an afternoon nap on that bed, we venture down to check out the rest of the hotel.

On the ground floor there’s a gift shop, a cafe with an amazing patisserie, a Japanese-Korean laneway bar called Hot Sauce and, next door, a shop that sells handcrafted Japanese knives.

On the first floor, there’s fine dining restaurant Pascale Bar & Grill with chef Paul Easson at the helm.

Upstairs, the rooftop bar shows us exactly how rooftops should be done and I have to admit that, yes, QT does have a thing or two to teach Melbourne about its boutique hotel scene.

The verdict

The arrival of QT adds a big dose of personality to Melbourne’s top-end hotel landscape. With excellent bars and dining, it’s as much a coup for locals as it is for visitors.

Score: 4/5
We rated: The unashamed glamour and extroversion of the place, the wow-factor of the rooftop and the supremely comfortable bed.
We’d change: The gym. With small proportions and no water or towels on offer, it felt like an afterthought.

All AT reviews are conducted anonymously and our writers pay their own way – so we experience exactly what you would.

Slow down and find your rhythm on a Murray River journey through time and place.

Trust is a funny thing. It seems not that long ago that my mother was insisting on pouring the milk into my cereal bowl, because she didn’t trust me not to slosh it over the table, and yet here I am on the Murray River at Mildura in far north-west Victoria, being handed the keys to a very new and very expensive luxury houseboat.

After a crash course in how not to crash, I’m at the wheel of the good ship Elevate – pride of the All Seasons fleet – guiding her upstream past red-ochre cliffs as pelicans glide above the rippled river and kookaburras call from reedy banks. There’s a brief moment of breath-holding while I negotiate a hairpin turn around a jagged reef of skeletal, submerged gum trees, before a cheer rings out and calm descends as the timeless river unfurls in front of us.

The Murray River winding through Yarrawonga. (Image: Rob Blackburn)

Setting sail from Mildura

Murray River birds — Home to a large number of bird species, including pelicans. (Image: The Precint Studios)

A journey along the Murray River is never less than magical, and launching from Mildura makes perfect sense. Up here the river is wide and largely empty, giving novice skippers like myself the confidence to nudge the 60-tonne houseboat up to the riverbank where we tie up for the night, without fear of shattering the glass elevator (the boat is fully wheelchair accessible) or spilling our Champagne.

My friends and I spend three days on the water, swimming and fishing, sitting around campfires onshore at night, and basking in air so warm you’d swear you were in the tropics. The simplicity of river life reveals an interesting dichotomy: we feel disconnected from the world but at the same time connected to Country, privileged to be part of something so ancient and special.

Stop one: Echuca

19th-century paddlesteamers — A historic 19th-century paddlesteamer cruises along the Murray River. (Image: Visit Victoria)

The six-hour drive from Melbourne to Mildura (or four hours and 20 minutes from Adelaide) is more than worth it, but you don’t have to travel that far to find fun on the river. Once Australia’s largest inland port, Echuca is the closest point on the Murray to Melbourne (two hours 45 minutes), and you’ll still find a plethora of paddlesteamers tethered to the historic timber wharf, a throwback to the thriving river trade days of the 19th century. The PS Adelaide, built in 1866 and the oldest wooden-hulled paddlesteamer operating in the world, departs daily for one-hour cruises, while a brand-new paddlesteamer, the PS Australian Star , is launching luxury seven-night voyages in December through APT Touring.

The town is also a hot food and wine destination. St Anne’s Winery at the historic Port of Echuca precinct has an incredibly photogenic cellar door, set inside an old carriage builders’ workshop on the wharf and filled with huge, 3000-litre port barrels. The Mill, meanwhile, is a cosy winter spot to sample regional produce as an open fire warms the red-brick walls of this former flour mill.

Stop two: Barmah National Park

Just half-an-hour upstream, Barmah National Park is flourishing, its river red gum landscape (the largest in the world) rebounding magnificently after the recent removal of more than 700 feral horses. The internationally significant Ramsar-listed wetland sits in the heart of Yorta Yorta Country, with Traditional Owners managing the environment in close partnership with Parks Victoria. Walkways weave through the forest, crossing creeks lined with rare or threatened plants, passing remnants of Yorta Yorta oven mounds and numerous scar trees, where the bark was removed to build canoes, containers or shields.

The Dharnya Centre (open weekdays until 3pm) is the cultural hub for the Yorta Yorta. Visitors can learn about the ecological significance of the Barmah Lakes on a 90-minute river cruise, led by a First Nations guide, or take a one-hour, guided cultural walking tour along the Yamyabuc Trail.

Stop three: Cobram

Continue east to Cobram to find the southern hemisphere’s largest inland beach. Swarming with sun-seekers in summer, the white sand of Thompson’s Beach is shaded by majestic river red gums and dotted with hundreds of beach umbrellas, as beachgoers launch all manner of water craft and set up stumps for beach cricket. But the beach is at its most captivating at sunset, when the crowds thin out, the glassy river mirrors the purple sky, and the canopies of the gum trees glow fiery orange.

The region is also home to some fine resorts and indulgent retreats. Yarrawonga Mulwala Golf Club Resort has two riverside championship golf courses, luxury apartments and self-contained villas. While not strictly on the Murray, the historic wine town of Rutherglen is rife with boutique (and unique) accommodation, including an exquisitely renovated red-brick tower in a French provincial-style castle at Mount Ophir Estate. Fans of fortified wines can unravel the mystery of Rutherglen’s ‘Muscat Mile’, meeting the vignerons and master-blenders whose artistry has put the town on the global map for this rich and complex wine style.

Stop four: Albury-Wodonga

First Nations YindyamarraSculpture Walk — First Nations Yindyamarra Sculpture Walk is part of the Wagirra Trail. (Image: Carmen Zammit)

Follow the river far enough upstream and you’ll arrive at the twin border cities of Albury-Wodonga. The Hume Highway thunders through, but serenity can be found along the five-kilometre Yindyamarra Sculpture Walk – part of the Wagirra Trail that meanders through river wetlands just west of Albury in Wiradjuri country. Fifteen sculptures by local First Nations artists line the trail, conveying stories of reconciliation, enduring connection to culture, local Milawa lore and traditional practices. It feels a long way from Mildura, and it is, but the pelicans and kookaburras remind us that it’s the same river, the great conduit that connects our country.

A traveller’s checklist

Staying there

New Mildura motel Kar-rama. (Image: Iain Bond Photo)

Kar-Rama is a brand-new boutique, retro-styled motel in Mildura, with a butterfly-shaped pool and a tropical, Palm Springs vibe. Echuca Holiday Homes has a range of high-end accommodation options, both on the riverfront and in town.

Playing there

BruceMunro’s Trail of Lights in Mildura — Bruce Munro’s Trail of Lights in Mildura. (Image: Imogen Eveson)

Artist Bruce Munro’s Trail of Lights installation, comprising more than 12,000 illuminated ‘fireflies’, is currently lighting up Mildura’s Lock Island in the middle of the Murray. Murray Art Museum Albury (MAMA) is a hub for contemporary art, with a rotating roster of exhibitions, and is a major outlet for young and First Nations artists.

Eating there

Mildura’s diverse demographic means it’s a fantastic place to eat. Andy’s Kitchen is a local favourite, serving up delicious pan-Asian dishes and creative cocktails in a Balinese-style garden setting. Call in to Spoons Riverside in Swan Hill to enjoy locally sourced, seasonal produce in a tranquil setting overlooking the river.