I am not the brightest of the three bears sometimes, but I think this is a new low for me.
Becoming a dad is a life-changing moment. The clue I seemed to have missed is life-changing. Not life-changing, except for holidays.
After our first family holiday I had a ‘what the hell did you expect’ moment. And so just in case anyone else missed the ‘kids change everything including holidays’ memo, here are some lessons.
Lesson 1: Age Matters
Two kids, aged two years and 10 months, are not at the ideal ages for a holiday. Life at this stage is a repetitious pattern of juggling two distinct feed-play-sleep cycles. Repeat it three to four times a day and break it up with a bath and that is your day.
Taking a holiday at this stage simply takes this mind-numbing and exhausting cycle to a new destination.
There is only a small window of opportunity – about one hour – when both kids are not sleeping or feeding or crying because they needed to sleep or be fed. This doesn’t lend itself to a day of sightseeing.
Worse, you make the process harder as all the tools, toys and facilities that make the cycle of sleep, eat and play easy are left at home so you are just trying to make do. Trying is the key word there.
So at this age, I wouldn’t bother with a big expensive holiday. The only caveat is if a nanny (AKA the Granny/Nanna/Grandma/Nona or whatever) is invited along to be the trusted babysitter.
But, as I found out, that doesn’t necessarily guarantee a restful holiday.
Lesson 2: Mum’s Headspace Matters
Yes, you can have the babysitter along for the ride, a fantastic holiday location, but if Mum can’t tear herself away from the bundles of joy for more than half a day, again maybe wait until the kids are older and Mum is ready to do things for herself.
Lesson 3: Rooms Can Become a Gaol
So if the child needs to sleep, then you can’t simply leave them and walk away. So the room can quickly become a gaol, where one parent is locked in watching a sleeping child while the other takes the non-sleeping child out for playtime.
Lesson 4: First-World problems are far better than Third-World ones for parents
Full declaration here is that we went to Bali. So I took a two-year-old and a 10-month-old to eat in Third World restaurants where Bali Belly is a real threat.
Add the Dengue Fever mosquitoes, rabid dogs and insanely tedious traffic and it’s not the most stress-less travel for protective parents.
The real conundrum is that families need holidays. The benefits, as I can certainly testify, are real and important. Mums get a rest and out of their Groundhog-Day life with loads more support from a present dad and maybe granny.
Dads get to spend real, extended quality time with the kids. And maybe, just maybe, Mum and Dad can have some quality time to remind themselves they are actually in a relationship with that strange person who seems to be in their house a lot. In fact, they are quite fond of them.
This did all happen for us, but it was not easy and certainly didn’t feel like a holiday but a strange week where we were together a lot, just in a different living room. Is that the way it is from now on? I hope not.
I hope in three years the family holiday will become a thing of greater joy, more quality time with the kids, where we create cherished family moments and less tedium.
But just in case can someone send me the memo?
Quentin Long is the Co-Founder and Managing Director of Australian Traveller Media. Quentin is a sought-after travel media commentator. He is Australia’s most trusted source for travel news and insights, having held weekly radio segments across the country since 2006, and regularly appearing on Channel 9’s Today and A Current Affair programs from 2010. Don't ask him his favourite travel experience as that's like asking him to choose a favourite child. However he does say that Garma Festival is the one travel experience that changed him the most.
Wind through fern tunnels, stop for a wine in a tram bar, or chase giant murals across the wheatbelt. These drives and rides prove Victoria’s best stories are found off the straight and narrow.
There’s something unmistakably Australian about a road trip: car packed, playlist on, landscapes shifting. Travelling down the highway toward Healesville, in Victoria’s Yarra Valley , the mountains rise, flanking me on both sides. I feel its embrace, a silent invitation to explore what lies beyond.
Moss-covered embankments rise on either side, and towering mountain ash trees form a green tunnel overhead. Road signs warn of wombats and cyclists but with giant ferns lining the roadside, the landscape feels prehistoric, as if a dinosaur might suddenly emerge. This, the Black Spur , is one of my favourite road trips.
The Black Spur
Through the forested canopy of The Black Spur drive that winds from Healesville to Narbethong. (Image: Neisha Breen)
The Black Spur is short compared to other Victorian road trips, just 30 kilometres, stretching from Healesville to Narbethong. But what it lacks in distance, it makes up for in scenery. Just outside Healesville, Maroondah Dam offers bushwalks and scenic views. However, if pressed for time, Selover’s Lookout is an easy roadside stop offering uninterrupted views of the dam.
In Narbethong, close to the Marysville’s snowfield, is the Black Spur Inn , a charming double-storey brick hotel that’s been welcoming travellers since 1863. Here, diners cosy up by the roaring fire or gaze through the floor-to-ceiling windows, imagining horse-drawn coaches carrying hopeful gold seekers to the eastern goldfields.
Victoria’s Silo Art Trail
The Silo Art Trail in the Wimmera Mallee region. (Image: Visit Victoria/Anne Morely)
Location: Various towns across the Wimmera Mallee region Duration: More than 200 kilometres / 4–5 hours but best over a minimum of three days
What began as a way to draw travellers back into town bypassed by highways – places such as Nullawil, Sea Lake and Patchewollock – has grown into a celebrated outdoor art movement. The Silo Art Trail now includes 23 silos, each transformed with large-scale mural portraits sharing local stories, celebrating community heroes, Indigenous history, farming life, or regional identity.
The Nullawil silo, for example, is a portrait of a local farmer in a chequered flannelette shirt alongside his loyal kelpie, painted by artist Sam Bates (AKA Smug). And the silos at Albacutya in the Grampians, painted by artist Kitt Bennett, depict her joyful memories of growing up in the countryside. Many of the murals sit right in the heart of small towns, such as Rochester and St Arnaud , making them perfect spots to pause for a country pub meal or something sweet from a local bakery.
Location: Gippsland Duration: Approximately 220 kilometres / 4 hours
The Gippsland Lakes are a much-loved holiday spot in Victoria, but road-tripping further east reveals much more. Begin in Metung and time your visit with the monthly farmers’ market, or simply linger over lunch on the lawn of the Metung Hotel. Twenty minutes away is Lakes Entrance , where you can watch the fishing boats return with their catch.
Continue to Marlo, where the Snowy River spills into the sea, and Cape Conran for its many beaches and walks. If needing to stretch your legs, Croajingolong National Park is home to the historic Point Hicks Lighthouse and the Wilderness Coast Walk. Birdwatching and rainforest trails near Bemm River are worth a pit stop before arriving in Mallacoota, where the forest meets the sea.
Great Ocean Road
The 12 Apostles on the Great Ocean Road. (Image: Tourism Australia/Two Palms/Harry Pope)
Location: South-west Victoria, from Torquay to Allansford Duration: Approximately 250 kilometres / 4–5 hours but best over a minimum of three days
Victoria’s most famous road trip delivers it all: world-class surf breaks, rainforest walks, clifftop lookouts and wildlife encounters. The journey begins in Torquay, the state’s surf capital, then hugs the coast past Anglesea and Lorne to Apollo Bay, before curving inland through the lush rainforest of the Otways. Stop at Cape Otway Lightstation or take to the treetops at Otway Fly.
Between Cape Otway and Port Campbell lies the most photographed stretch – seven of the Twelve Apostles still standing, alongside the golden cliffs of Loch Ard Gorge. Further west, Warrnambool is a winter whale-watching hotspot, before the road winds to Port Fairy, a charming fishing village of whalers’ cottages, walking trails and offshore seal colonies further along the coast.
Location: Bellarine Peninsula Duration: Approximately 80 kilometres / 2–3 hours
The Bellarine Taste Trail is a feast for the senses, winding through coastal towns, past boutique wineries and artisan producers. It’s a choose-your-own-adventure style trail – simply grab a map and build your own delicious journey.
You might wander historic, seafront Queenscliff, sip wine in a converted tram bar at Terindah Estate , sample a locally distilled whisky at The Whiskery in Drydale or pick up a jar of honey at Wattle Grove in Wallington. Seafood lovers can head to Portarlington, famous for its mussels. Eat them fresh at local restaurants or head out on the water with Portarlington Mussel Tours.
O’Keefe Rail Trail – Bendigo to Heathcote
Pink Cliffs Reserve in Heathcote can be seen on the O’Keefe Rail Trail. (Image: Visit Victoria/Emily Godfrey)
Location: Central Victoria Duration: Approximately 50 kilometres / 4 hours cycling
Travellers first journeyed between Heathcote and Bendigo in 1888, when the railway line was built to link the towns. Trains stopped running in 1956, but today the route has a new life as the O’Keefe Rail Trail . The path is mostly level for easy riding, and along the way you’ll cycle past bushland, waterways and reserves. There are plenty of places to picnic, birdwatch, and if you’re lucky, spot a platypus.
The trail is well supported with water stations, bike repair points, shelters, and signage. Axedale makes a great halfway stop, with the pretty Campaspe River Reserve for a rest and local cafes for refuelling. Begin in Heathcote, known for its wineries and cafes, or in Bendigo, which is easily reached by train from Melbourne/Naarm. Shorter sections, such as Heathcote to Axedale, are also popular.
Goldfields Track – Ballarat to Bendigo
Location: Central Victoria Duration: Approximately 210 kilometres / 2–3 days cycling
The Goldfields Track traces a route once so rich in gold it made Melbourne one of the wealthiest cities in the world. Starting at Mt Buninyong, south of Ballarat, the trail leads mountain cyclists and walkers north through Creswick, Daylesford and Castlemaine before finishing in Bendigo. Along the way, you’ll encounter granite outcrops, eucalypt forests, rolling farmland and remnants of the region’s mining past.
As it passes through the lands of the Dja Dja Wurrung and Wadawurrung people, the track shares gold rush history and Indigenous stories brought to life by interpretive signs. Walk or ride the full trail or choose from one of its three distinct sections. With cosy stays, cafes and pubs, it’s easy to mix wilderness with comfort.
