Truth Takes a Holiday

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On a family holiday to the Kimberleys, AT reader Alison Campbell Rate learns the value of walking tall, staring straight ahead . . . And lying through her teeth.

I try not to lie to my children. It sets a bad example. Besides, I might get caught. But there comes a time in every mother’s life when a lie – or, indeed, several – is well and truly warranted for everybody’s good, including her own.

 

When that moment of truth hits, you lie with ease and without compunction. I blame this moral degeneration on the barefaced lies of a chance-met acquaintance. We’d left the translucent waters of Broome about 350km behind us and were now deep in the dry, red heart of the Kimberley. We knew Fitzroy Crossing was the place to see Geikie Gorge so we took a cruise in an open, flat-bottomed boat. The Gorge was originally a coral reef lying under a warm shallow sea. Raised, scored and shaped by nature’s antics over eons, its limestone walls are now home to busy pairs of nesting fairy martins and flashing rainbow bee-eaters. Freshwater crocs, the almost safe kind, smiled at us from their rocky islands.

 

“Have you taken the kiddies to Tunnel Creek?" was the seemingly innocent remark from one of our fellow passengers. “No, where’s that?" I asked. My first mistake. “Back along the main highway, turn off to the right. Beautiful. Take your bathers. And your torches. You’ll love it."

 

I relayed this information to my husband within earshot of the children. Second mistake. They were all mad keen, so there we were next morning driving along a shuddery 4WD track towards our doom. The landscape was dramatic – rocky outcrops, savannah-like stretches of grassland, high limestone escarpments above. Boabs stood among the rocks, like sentinels or guardian spirits giving both an exuberant welcome plus a stern reminder not to litter.

 

Tunnel Creek itself is a wide passageway about 750m in length cutting through to the other side of the Napier Range and nursing year-round water. The heat and glare of the outer world penetrates for a few metres, then darkness takes over. The fun part consists of wading through this thick darkness clutching a torch, negotiating large, chilly pools up to a metre in depth. The kids, initially wildly excited, were nervous of plunging into black water. Having been reassured we were safe from freshwater crocs, I discovered far too late that the tunnel was populated with something almost as unpleasant.

 

Back at the edge of the first pool a voice inside my head had said: “Enter and you die." But we couldn’t back out now. Summoning up the sort of hearty parental tone required in circumstances like these, I reassured the children that there were absolutely no crocs and that there was nothing to worry about and the torches were not going to go out, well not unless you drop it in the water, Connor, and no, I can’t carry you, I’m carrying the torch; no-one has ever got lost in Tunnel Creek, James, you just go straight through to the end then turn around and come straight out again; that’s just a rock, a rock, Hannah!

 

We were fast approaching the point at which I realised I’d been lied to. During this running monologue, calculated to shore up my courage as much as theirs, I caught sight of a long, skinny shadow swimming slowly alongside. Then another, and another – some of them quite unnecessarily big.

 

I suppressed the need to announce to the whole of the Kimberley, “EELS!" and concentrated on swinging the torch beam aside each time one slithered into my line of vision so the kids wouldn’t see. This is where the lies began involuntarily spouting forth: Let’s just go this way where it’s not so deep; move left – there’s a big rock, you don’t want to stub your toes; oh, look at that stalactite!

 

I could only see them when they silently entered into my little spill of torchlight, but how many were gathering in the blackness?

 

Paul had by this time realised what was going on and the pair of us ducked and weaved, hauling children left to right. There were dozens of the creatures; my eyes were out on stalks as I tried to keep tabs on my immediate vicinity. I could only see them when they silently entered into my little spill of torchlight, but how many were gathering in the blackness? Any minute now I’d feel a pair of jaws fastening onto my ankle . . .

 

At last we emerged into sunlight at the far end, where I flopped on the sand and contemplated the return journey. A mother’s courage knows no bounds. Back we went, successfully dodging and lying our heads off until, just as we were nearing the end of the very last pool, Hannah caught sight of a huge specimen sliding past her leg. Before she could do more than drop her jaw in horror, I’d whisked her sideways and out onto dry land.

 

No doubt the eels were harmless, leading a blameless life in their own little world. No doubt I overreacted. If the woman on the boat deliberately left out this nugget of information it was probably from the best of motives. After all, had I known I’d probably have refused to put one foot in the water and we’d have missed out on what was undeniably a fabulous underground adventure.

 

Family friends went trekking north earlier this year for a couple of months and I dropped in prior to their departure with maps and notes. Funny thing, but although Tunnel Creek came up as a “must do" with their boys, I can’t recall any mention of eels. Perhaps I just forgot.

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The perfect mid-week reset an hour from Melbourne

    Kellie Floyd Kellie Floyd
    Winding down in the Yarra Valley, where ‘work from home’ becomes ‘work from wine country’.

    Steam from my morning coffee curls gently into the cool valley air, mist-veiled vineyards stretch out in neat rows below me. Magpies warble from trees, and the morning’s quiet carries the soft bleating of lambs from a nearby paddock. Midweek in the Yarra Valley has its own rhythm. It’s slower, quieter, with more empty tables at cafes and cellar doors, and walking trails I can claim all to myself. It’s as if the entire region takes a deep breath once the weekend crowd leaves.

    walking trails in the Yarra Valley
    You’ll find walking trails are less crowded during the week. (Image: Visit Victoria)

    I haven’t come here for a holiday, but to do a little work somewhere other than my home office, where I spend too much time hunched over my desk. Deadlines still loom, meetings still happen, but with flexible work evolving from ‘work from home’ to ‘work from anywhere’, I’m swapping the view of my front yard to the vineyards.

    A quiet afternoon at Yarra Valley Dairy

    holding a glass of wine at Yarra Valley Dairy
    Wine time at Yarra Valley Dairy, where you can enjoy a toastie or bagel in the cafe. (Image: Visit Victoria)

    With the Yarra Valley just over an hour from the CBD, many Melburnians could drive here in their lunch break. I arrive late in the afternoon and am delighted to discover the Yarra Valley Dairy still open. On weekends, I’ve seen queues spilling out the door, but today there’s only one other couple inside. There’s no need to rush to secure a table; instead I browse the little store, shelves stacked with chutneys, spices, artisan biscuits and gorgeous crockery that would look right at home in my kitchen. It’s hard not to buy the lot.

    a cheese tasting plate atYarra Valley Dairy
    A cheese tasting plate at Yarra Valley Dairy.

    I order a coffee and a small cheese platter, though the dairy has a full menu, and choose a wooden table with bentwood chairs by a wide window. The space feels part farm shed, part cosy café: corrugated iron ceiling, walls painted in muted tones and rustic furniture.

    Outside, cows meander toward milking sheds. If pressed for time, there’s the option of quick cheese tastings – four samples for five dollars in five minutes – but today, I’m in no rush. I sip slowly, watching a grey sky settle over the paddock. Less than an hour ago I was hunched over my home-office desk, and now my racing mind has slowed to match the valley’s pace.

    Checking in for vineyard views at Balgownie Estate

    Restaurant 1309 at Balgownie Estate
    Restaurant 1309 at Balgownie Estate has views across the vines.

    As my car rolls to a stop at Balgownie Estate, I’m quietly excited, and curious to see if my plan to work and play comes off. I’ve chosen a suite with a spacious living area and a separate bedroom so I can keep work away from a good night’s sleep. I could have booked a cosy cottage, complete with open fireplace, a comfy couch and a kettle for endless cups of tea, but as I am still here to get some work done, I opt for a place that takes care of everything. Dinner is served in Restaurant 1309, as is breakfast.

    oysters at Restaurant 1309, Balgownie Estate
    Oysters pair perfectly with a crisp white at Restaurant 1309.

    On my first evening, instead of the usual walk about my neighbourhood, I stroll through the estate at an unhurried pace. There’s no need to rush – someone else is preparing my dinner after all. The walking trails offer beautiful sunsets, and it seems mobs of kangaroos enjoy the view, too. Many appear, grazing lazily on the hillside.

    I wake to the call of birds and, after breakfast, with the mist still lingering over the vineyards, I watch two hot-air balloons silently drift above clouds. Perched on a hill, Balgownie Estate sits above the mist, leaving the valley below veiled white.

    kangaroos in Yarra Valley
    Spotting the locals on an evening walk. (Image: Visit Victoria)

    Exploring the Yarra Valley on two wheels

    the Yarra Valley vineyards
    Swap your home office for a view of the vineyards. (Image: Visit Victoria/Cormac Hanrahan)

    Perhaps because the Yarra Valley is relatively close to where I live, I’ve never considered exploring the area any way other than by car or on foot. And with a fear of heights, a hot-air balloon is firmly off the table. But when I discover I can hop on two wheels from the estate and cycle into Yarra Glen, I quickly realise it’s the perfect way to step away from my laptop and experience a different side of the region.

    COG Bike offers pedal-assist e-bikes, and while the bike trail and paths into town aren’t particularly hilly, having an extra bit of ‘oomph’ means I can soak up the surroundings. Those lambs I heard calling early in the morning? I now find them at the paddock fence, sniffing my hands, perhaps hoping for food. Cows idle nearby, and at a fork in the bike path I turn left toward town.

    It’s still morning, and the perfect time for a coffee break at The Vallie Store. If it were the afternoon, I’d likely turn right, in the direction of four wineries with cellar doors. The ride is about 15 kilometres return, but don’t let that put you off. Staying off the highway, the route takes you along quiet backroads where you catch glimpses of local life – farmers on tractors, weathered sheds, rows of vines and the kind of peaceful countryside you don’t see from the main road.

    A detour to the Dandenong Ranges

    legs hanging over the sides of the train, Puffing Billy Railway
    The iconic Puffing Billy runs every day except Christmas Day.

    The beauty of basing myself in the Yarra Valley is how close everything feels. In barely half an hour I’m in the Dandenong Ranges, swapping vineyards for towering mountain ash and fern-filled gullies. The small villages of Olinda and Sassafras burst with cosy teahouses, antique stores and boutiques selling clothing and handmade body care items.

    I’m drawn to RJ Hamer Arboretum – Latin for ‘a place for trees’. Having grown up among tall trees, I’ve always taken comfort in their presence, so this visit feels like a return of sorts. A stroll along the trails offers a choice: wide open views across patchwork paddocks below, or shaded paths that lead you deeper into the quiet hush of the peaceful forest.

    The following day, I settle into a quiet corner on the balcony of Paradise Valley Hotel in Clematis and soon hear Puffing Billy’s whistle and steady chuff as the steam train climbs towards town. Puffing Billy is one of Australia’s most beloved steam trains, running through the Dandenong Ranges on a narrow-gauge track. It’s famous for its open carriages where passengers can sit with their legs hanging over the sides as the train chugs through the forest. This is the perfect spot to wave to those on the train.

    After my midweek break, I find my inbox still full and my to-do list not in the least shrunken, just shifted from one task to another. But I return to my home office feeling lighter, clearer and with a smug satisfaction I’d stolen back a little time for myself. A midweek wind-down made all the difference.

    A traveller’s checklist

    Staying there

    Balgownie Estate offers everything from cellar door tastings to spa treatments and fine dining – all without leaving the property.

    Playing there

    the TarraWarra Museum of Art, Yarra Valley
    Visit the TarraWarra Museum of Art. (Image: Visit Victoria)

    Wander through Alowyn Gardens, including a stunning wisteria tunnel, then explore the collection of contemporary artworks at TarraWarra Museum of Art. Cycle the Yarra Valley with COG Bike to visit local wineries and cellar doors.

    Eating and drinking there

    Olinda Tea House offers an Asian-inspired high tea. Paradise Valley Hotel, Clematis has classic pub fare, while the iconic Yering Station offers wine tastings and a restaurant with seasonal dishes.

    seasonal dishes at the restaurant inside Yering Station
    The restaurant at Yering Station showcases the best produce of the Yarra Valley. (Image: Visit Victoria)
    Truth Takes a Holiday - Australian Traveller