Ok, so I am a guy but people tell me I am not too bad on the romance stakes. The wife says it’s a bit inconsistent – it’s not daily.

But I hate Valentines day. It’s more than just the rampant commercialisation – it’s the crap that carries on around it. Here are the three worst things that happen on the day.

Office Pissing Contest
The procession of flowers that arrive at reception for some lucky girl to come and collect is tedious and unhelpful to the office.

It’s almost like a scoreboard for women – the size of the bouquet is a measure of the women’s ability to garner the devotion of some guy.

Not only is it pathetic and in reality these issues are best between a couple, but it is not great for office morale.

It’s Unimaginative
Beyond the commercialisation, it’s a manifestation of the most unimaginative lazy effort in a relationship imaginable. Anyone who goes all out on Valenitines day is, to me, not worth being in a relationship with. They do not have the personal fortitude to act in any imaginative way. They are nothing but sheep.

It’s a Victory of Style over Substance
The public song and dance for Valentines day is often more about each member of the relationship proudly showing off at the water cooler the next day. Its meaningless in reality.

So, if you want to avoid all this my tip is – do something special on the 12th. You don’t have the cost of the marked up 14th, it beats everyone else to the punch and it is a surprise.

Oh, and some ideas?
Well I reckon a photo book is pretty darn special these days – organising digital photos is such a pain, that the photo book is a decent solution.

I recently did one for my mum and dad’s 50th wedding anniversary and it was cheap and relatively painless. I used Album Works.

If you go for the hotel deal make sure you get something onto like a theatre deal – Sofitel are the guys I reckon who do a grand jpob of the theatre/arts package.

Happy un-Valentine!