Why I hate Valentine’s Day and what to do about it.

Quentin Long Quentin Long
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Ok, so I am a guy but people tell me I am not too bad on the romance stakes. The wife says it’s a bit inconsistent – it’s not daily.

But I hate Valentines day. It’s more than just the rampant commercialisation – it’s the crap that carries on around it. Here are the three worst things that happen on the day.

Office Pissing Contest
The procession of flowers that arrive at reception for some lucky girl to come and collect is tedious and unhelpful to the office.

It’s almost like a scoreboard for women – the size of the bouquet is a measure of the women’s ability to garner the devotion of some guy.

Not only is it pathetic and in reality these issues are best between a couple, but it is not great for office morale.

It’s Unimaginative
Beyond the commercialisation, it’s a manifestation of the most unimaginative lazy effort in a relationship imaginable. Anyone who goes all out on Valenitines day is, to me, not worth being in a relationship with. They do not have the personal fortitude to act in any imaginative way. They are nothing but sheep.

It’s a Victory of Style over Substance
The public song and dance for Valentines day is often more about each member of the relationship proudly showing off at the water cooler the next day. Its meaningless in reality.

So, if you want to avoid all this my tip is – do something special on the 12th. You don’t have the cost of the marked up 14th, it beats everyone else to the punch and it is a surprise.

Oh, and some ideas?
Well I reckon a photo book is pretty darn special these days – organising digital photos is such a pain, that the photo book is a decent solution.

I recently did one for my mum and dad’s 50th wedding anniversary and it was cheap and relatively painless. I used Album Works.

If you go for the hotel deal make sure you get something onto like a theatre deal – Sofitel are the guys I reckon who do a grand job of the theatre/arts package.

Happy un-Valentine!

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Quentin Long
Quentin Long is the Co-Founder and Managing Director of Australian Traveller Media. Quentin is a sought-after travel media commentator. He is Australia’s most trusted source for travel news and insights, having held weekly radio segments across the country since 2006, and regularly appearing on Channel 9’s Today and A Current Affair programs from 2010. Don't ask him his favourite travel experience as that's like asking him to choose a favourite child. However he does say that Garma Festival is the one travel experience that changed him the most.
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Film lovers need to add these Victorian theatres to their bucket list

    Ricky French Ricky French
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    Theatres have always been a cornerstone of regional Victoria, reflecting the character and history of their local communities.

    From grand, gold rush-era masterpieces to Art Deco wonders to repurposed prisons, we’ve rounded up four of Victoria’s best regional theatres to catch a show at next time you’re travelling through.

    Her Majesty’s Theatre, Ballarat

    Her Majesty’s Theatre, Ballarat 
    Her Majesty’s Theatre in Ballarat has been standing for 150 years. (Image: Michael Pham)

    A monument to the immense gold rush wealth flooding through Ballarat in the second half of the 19th century, Her Majesty’s Theatre (‘Her Maj’ to locals) celebrates its 150th anniversary as the city’s premier performing arts venue this year.

    Built in a classical style and immaculately preserved (thanks largely to a recent $16-million restoration), this Lydiard Street landmark is the oldest continuously operating theatre in mainland Australia, notable for its double balcony and a stage that slopes towards the front, making it one of the most audience-friendly venues in the country to see a show.

    The Capital, Bendigo

    The Capital Theatre, Bendigo
    The Capital in Bendigo was built in 1873 as a Masonic Hall. (Image: Michael Pham)

    Denoted by its distinctive Corinthian columns, more reminiscent of ancient Greece than regional Victoria, The Capital theatre in Bendigo has been through several iterations since the first stone was laid in 1873.

    Originally a Masonic hall, the renaissance revival-style building became a theatre in the 1890s, falling into disrepair for a time during the 1970s, before being restored and reopened (as the Bendigo Regional Arts Centre) in 1991. Today, the 480-seat venue hosts everything from comedy to cabaret to traditional theatre, dance, opera and live music.

     Ulumbarra Theatre, Bendigo

    a look insideBendigo’s Ulumbarra Theatre
    Inside Bendigo’s Ulumbarra Theatre, a former prison. (Image: Michael Pham)

    Bendigo has busted out as a regional performing arts hotspot, so it’s fitting that one of its newest venues is housed within a former prison. Meaning ‘meeting place’ or ‘gather together’ in the language of the local Dja Dja Wurrung people, the $26-million, 950-seat auditorium rose from within the red brick walls of the historic Sandhurst Gaol in 2015.

    It’s an eerie feeling as you approach the imposing granite facade, pass beneath the old gallows and pick up your ticket from the box office occupying a repurposed cell block. With the building playing a main character in the show, this is performative architecture at its finest.

    Rex Theatre, Charlton

    the Rex Theatre in Charlton
    The 1938-built Rex Theatre in Charlton is an Art Deco gem. (Image: Jenny Pollard)

    Regional theatres don’t come more romantic than this Art Deco gem in the river town of Charlton, in north-central Victoria. Built in 1938, the 350-seat community-owned theatre provides an essential entertainment outlet for residents in the Wimmera Mallee region, as well as visitors making the trip up the Calder Highway from Melbourne.

    The volunteer-run venue is the last remaining purpose-built cinema in regional Victoria, and hosts the Charlton Film Festival every February, plus three weekly film screenings (Tuesday, Saturday and Sunday).